Things I Learned Watching the History Channel

Things I learned watching The History Channel's programming on ancient astronauts, mythical creatures, and prophecy:

1. We are all going to die in 2012 because a huge asteroid is plummeting toward us;
2. Or, if not, it will be when our sun becomes a supernova;
3. Or, if not, it will be when a massive solar flare attacks us from another supernova;
4. The creationist museum folks in Northern Kentucky are not wrong: Dinosaurs and humans did interact with one another, and in fact people did ride dinosaurs;
5. Ancient Aliens caused the Great Flood in order to weed out those people they didn't think met their standards;
6. But this was after they had bred the perfect human family by artificially inseminating Noah's mother;
7. Which was after they had sent an asteroid to strike the earth to kill all the dinosaurs, which they decided were too dangerous to leave around among people;
8. But that was okay, because Noah's Ark was really a DNA bank of all the species on earth.

And that doesn't even get to the Yetis and Bigfoot sightings.

As Jade said in the mission statement for this blog, our mission is simple: Bring real, legitimate, history back to the History Channel, and leave the rank speculation and ridiculous programming for other networks.